My Purpose

Sometimes I get so tired of the way my life goes - I get tired of the supporting my brothers and sisters, I get tired cooking, cleaning the house, thinking of next sem, thinking of how daddy's therapy is going, how mom's blood sugar is doing, planning the next year for our family - lahat! yeah, I get tired of my resposibilities! Sue me for being human.

But after every outburst, I realize how much I love my family and how much they love me back then I go back to being the ate and the daughter that they need.

It's not easy being the ate of six kids (yeah I still call them kids! haha) and the daughter of a half-paralyzed dad and a diabetic mom. It was never my parents' intention to pass their obligations to me, they did not want to get sick, they did not foresee that they would not be working at such a young age of 50 and 46. I love them for trying to help me even in their condition, I love the fact that mommy always prays for me before she goes to sleep and I love the way that daddy still calls me his "son na babae" and that way he makes me, mommy and my brothers and sisters laugh with his antics.

I am lucky to have brothers and sisters who appreciates all the hard work that I do and makes adjustments when I'm financially broke. I have Denise, who is a CPA right now, Dane who just started working last week and graduated as cum laude from UST last March. Enzo, who despite being the lokoloko strives  every semester to bring home passing grades. Gio who I look up to for pursuing his dreams and gets consistent A++++ grades in his PT subjects. Then there is Andi, my beautiful sister who makes me smile each time she asks for something for school - sbrang nahihihya! She belongs in the top 10 of her highschool class. Of course there's Gino who is an achiever in his own way - we are just a  year apart and I did not get a chance to help him out pero I admire him for supporting himself and not being a financaial burden to my parents.

I was crying yesterday because this green little monster in me came out - envy. I started thinking why I do not have a big savings account just like people my age, why can't I buy the things I need without planning waaaaaaaaaay ahead before spending. Then I realized that my biggest investment is my family, and I get the fruits of my labor through each smile and each hug and kiss I get from my family. I am rich because I have 3 wonderful sisters, 3 equally wonderful brothers and 1 and 1/2 parents (si daddy kasi half nlng gumagana hehe) that other people can only wish for.

Now I know my purpose - Papa Jesus sent me here to be a blessing to my family.